WillowXander drabbles
by Lenidrabbles
Summary: First love is forever. Friends or lovers, there's a thin line inbetween.
1. beginnings

**Innocence.**

The first time she sees him, he's quietly colouring next to her.

"The grass isn't purple, it's green," she had whispered, wisdom in her voice. She had even taken the green crayon and offered it to him.

He had merely looked her up and down and then calmly pointed out that if she could have red hair when his was black, then he could have his purple grass.

Willow had thought it over and realised he was right.

Which meant she was wrong.

Which meant something new and different and scary.

Which meant she had to know more about it.

**Betrayal.**

The first time she kisses him it's like falling headlong into cold water.

The fall is amazing for the first seconds. Sleeping Beauty just woke up and is ready to begin living as she never did before.

It feels like it can never end.

But it ends and all left is cold betrayal.

She cannot breathe for several seconds. The princess just realised that the world has changed and Prince Charming isn't who he claims to be.

It was only the clothes, he says, a fluke!

Again, like she'd always done, she lets him sweep his mistake under the carpet.

**Some Sort of Understanding.**

The first time they make love the world has almost ended.

There are parts in herself she needs to reconnect with and he is one of them.

He's the one who was always at her side; always supporting and accepting her even if he never really _understood_. Today he has almost sacrificed himself for her and she knows that nobody would do it as selflessly as he did.

That's why when the grieving hug turns into an awkward kiss, she doesn't stop it. Finally, for the very first time, he understands her, because he doesn't even try to pull apart.


	2. bitter

**Unlikely Intruder**

Willow shouldn't search through Xander's closet without his authorisation.

But it was better than facing him. 

They still hadn't discussed 'it' and, if Willow kept avoiding him, maybe they never would.

So, when she'd overheard Cordelia talking about their date - which Willow was _not_ bitter about - she'd decided to take advantage of his absence.

Maybe she shouldn't do this, but she really wanted that yellow-and-orange plaid shirt.

Aha!

She swiftly took off her dress and slipped into it.

Admiring herself in the mirror, Willow grinned in delight.

Yes, between this and Buffy's yellow skirt it'd be the perfect Halloween costume.

**Busted**

Xander licked his lips. Mmm, Cordelia's lip gloss tasted like tangerines today.

Opening his bedroom door, Alexander Harris promptly forgot how to breathe.

Willow was there.

Best Friend Willow.

Clothes Fluke Willow.

And she was only wearing a shirt.

_His_ shirt.

It may be his weirdest shirt but she still looked _stunning_ in it.

"Willow?" he squeaked.

She turned around and blushed brightly. "Oh. Sorry. Cordelia s-said you'd be out until late. I just needed something for Hallowe-"

They could always blame the clothes again.

His only thought before kissing her was that never had tangerines tasted so bitter before.

**Blame the Cookies**

They were baking cookies.

It wasn't wrong to invite your best friend over for cookies, Willow reasoned.

Xander assured himself that it was okay to resurrect an old tradition between best friends.

Earlier, on the way home, Xander had congratulated her for winning the 'Funniest Costume' prize. Willow had just grinned and retorted that without his shirt she'd have never done it. Laughter ensued.

Then they'd remembered the cookies they'd baked for years after trick-or-treat. 

In such a friendly atmosphere, wasn't it fitting to do it again?

Maybe.

But not even the bitter smell of burnt cookies interrupted their kiss.


	3. failure, success

**Before Finals.**

Jesse had his eyes glued to his leaf.

Alexander couldn't concentrate. Chemistry was too difficult, why were they studying it?

The reason sat calmly between them, leafing through her Literature book. "Everything alright, Alex?" 

"Xander," he corrected.

Willow sighed. _Xander_ wasn't collaborating. She flipped the next leaf angrily.

"I got it!"

Xander looked at his best friend. Jesse grinned as he followed Willow's revision over her shoulder.

"Excellent, Jesse, you did it."

Jesse whooped and threw his fist in the air.

"And you, Al- Xander?"

Alexander looked at Willow's worried expression.

Then down at the doodles adorning his exercise paper.

**Crush. (Crash and Burn)**

Jesse heard Willow's soft sigh. He needn't look to know that Xander was joining them.

Another sigh.

Jesse looked at his redheaded friend and then at the dork who obviously was the centre of her attentions. He couldn't believe how oblivious Xander could be. Willow had her feelings on her sleeve and the fool didn't notice anything.

But then, Jesse thought as he looked across the classroom, Xander wasn't the only one.

Jesse didn't know about Will and Xander but he and Chase had chemistry between them. Willow may be slow but he was on the hunt.

And he'd succeed.

**Unexpected.**

"We have to find him," Willow whispered urgently, "Chemistry begins in two minutes."

"Come on, Xander's been late before."

"Mr. Bell threatened to suspend him, remember?" 

Jesse's eyes widened. "The gym."

Willow wished she had never gone.

Xander was there. Lips locked with Amelia Lockhart's.

"Jesse!" Xander's voice. That meant he wasn't kissing Amelia anymore, didn't it? "Wills?"

"Go to class," she ordered her friends as she struggled not to cry. "Now!"

She run.

Later, as she washed her tears, fifteen-year-old Willow thought bitterly that not only didn't she have Xander's love.

She'd also failed to have his first kiss.


	4. doorways

**Tradition is Tradition.**  
Willow was laughing by the time they got to Jesse's house. Xander had been mimicking what her parents would do if they knew she was celebrating Christmas. Willow had to admit that he did a wonderful personification of her mother.

Jesse's cough halted their conversation. He pointed upwards and Willow gasped when she saw the mistletoe hanging on the doorway.

Xander blushed.

Jesse snickered. "It's tradition!"

"But not hers!"

Willow remained quiet as the boys discussed. Finally, defeated, Xander grabbed her chin and pecked her lightly on the lips.

She blushed madly when she noticed Jesse winking at her playfully.


	5. frogs

**Mission: Impossible?**  
Xander tried his special puppy eyes.

"No."

"Come on!"

"No."

He met her infamous 'Resolve Face' with one of his own.

"No. I must finish this essay and then I _still_ have a plethora of Math exercises to finish!"

She was serious, he realised. A last resort was necessary. "I won't tell Jesse _you_ freed his pet frog because you were too scared of it."

"You wouldn't!"

Xander grinned.

Willow finally capitulated. It was Jesse's fault, really. He should be in Sunnydale and not on a family trip. "Alright, I'll go, but you better don't scream when Jason kills someone!"


	6. sins

**Doomed.**  
This won't end well, he knows.

She's always smelled like sweet home; now he knows she tastes even better.

He's caressed her hair comfortingly, now he wonders how it'd feel if he tangles his fingers in it while kissing her.

He can almost hear the little sounds she makes when she's kissing him. What if she made them in earnest? What if they take this madness further?

He can almost _feel_ her,

But his hand holds Cordelia's and Oz is right between them.

No, this can't - _won't_ - end well.

But right now, day-dreaming of tasting her, Xander doesn't really care.

**Justice** (_for it is not hers_)  
Willow watches as Cordelia's hand drifts into Xander's, the quiet familiarity as his fingers close over it. The brunnette whispers into Xander's ear until they are both laughing.

Later Cordelia leaves for the bathroom. They stay looking at each other. Willow smiles tremulously, they hadn't had such a big secret since her Mom's favourite vase broke. She puts her hand on his and tries not give herself up when he _doubts_ in holding it.

She is not envious, Willow thinks determinedly. Xander was hers long before Cordelia resembled an human being. Willow will not be envious...

...except that she is.


	7. episode titles

**Angel.**  
"Want to be my friend?" she asked in kindergarten. So it began.

Eleven years have gone by. I trust her more than anyone else. She's special for me, we console each other after the bad days. My best friend. She took my hand at the dentist's and I looked into her closet to make sure there weren't monsters inside.

Nothing could ever break our bond.

But now she lies helplessly in this bed. My beautiful angel sleeping a dreamless sleep. What if she doesn't wake up? What if I lose her?

I can't.

I can't. 

"I love you."

I won't.


	8. hands

**Wake**

She crouches beside his bed silently, thinking how innocent he looks right now.

She longs to hold his hand in hers. Instead she grazes her fingertips over his palm, just an inch above his skin, as if not to disturb him.

Ever since she can remember, Willow has wanted to do exactly this: Watch her love while he's sleeping.

And oh, doesn't he look just like he's sleeping?

She runs her hand over his face, hiding his unseeing eyes and closing them slowly. 

"Just wait, Xander, just a little more."

Willow can't wait until he rises to be with her.


	9. eyes

**Scene One**

"Cordelia is so beautiful," Jesse sighed for the nth time. Willow rolled her eyes. Xander was more direct, opting for whacking him with his Literature book. The thickest of the bunch.

"Ouch." Jesse punched his arm.

Xander didn't yelp, but slapped his shoulder in return.

Jesse was about to counterattack when Willow's hand stopped him. "Guys," she said in her most serious voice. "Lit test? Tomorrow?"

Jesse relented but didn't keep silent for long. "That golden eyeshadow, it makes her eyes glow..."

"Yes," Xander admitted. "She looked okay,"

Willow looked up from her book and glanced at her friend thoughtfully.

**Scene Two**

Willow walked confidently down the hall. Heads turned as she walked, people who never noticed her suddenly startled out of their ignorance.

Suddenly a hand grabbed her arm. "Xander," she greeted the offender.

"Willow?" he asked, almost accusingly.

"Something wrong?"

"Well." He peered into her face intently. "What did you do?"

She smiled a RoseWood#23 smile, her PaleNight shadowed eyes sparkling with contentment. "Just a little something I decided to try."

Xander shook his head. "It isn't you, Wills."

The smile slipped and suddenly hurt eyes stared at him for the longest second. Then she pushed him and ran away.

**Scene Three**

"I shouldn't have said that, please forgive me?" 

Willow didn't even stop, but grabbed her books more tightly.

"I was shocked. So much make up..." A pause. "That's for girls like Cordelia. Not you." He took her shoulder, efficiently halting her.

She shrugged his touch off, still so mad that she could dump her books on him. "Why not?"

Xander's eyes looked helplessly into her make-up less face, mouthing a few words and finally just expelled a long breath and said it. "You don't need that garbage. You're beautiful without any of it."

Surprised, Willow smiled slowly. "Really?"

Xander nodded.


	10. patterns

**1. _pre-series_**

"I'll miss you."

Xander smiled. "It's only for a weekend, Willow." Coach Martinez had decided to take the boys on a survival camp.

"I made these for you." She shyly offered him a box.

Curious, he peered inside. "You are the best!" Xander bit the first cookie and moaned in delight. "I'm not sharing these with anyone."

Willow grinned. Then she looked as the coach stalked to the last straggler of his group. "Harris!" the man called. Xander straightened and quickly shoved the small box into his pack.

"I guess this is goodbye."

He hugged her quickly. "Goodbye, Chocolate Lady."

**2. _S3-S4 summer_**

"I'll miss you," Willow began as Xander closed his suitcase.

"You won't. I'll send postcard after postcard until I'm sure you've drowned in them."

"And then you'll come rescue me?"

He grinned. "Of course."

She shook her head and helped him accommodate the last bag in the back seat. The sun was already setting, Willow knew him enough to know he'd chosen to make a true movie-like parting.

"I guess this is goodbye."

Xander looked at the red sun and smiled, then turned to her and nodded. "Goodbye, Wilster."

Willow laughed a little as he indeed drove into the sunset.

**3. _post-Chosen_**

"I'll miss you," Willow said when they arrived to the airport.

"Hey, I'll be okay," Xander reassured her.

"You swear?" 

"I'm twenty-two and have lived through at least as many Apocalypses, how could Africa be worse?" Actually, Xander was nervous, this would be his first solo assignment. But he needed the time alone. Glancing at his watch, he saw it was time.

Willow noticed his movement. "I guess this is goodbye," she sighed, opening the trunk. Willow watched him grab his bags through the rear-view mirror. Then he walked to her window and kissed her cheek. "I'll be back, Willowgirl."

**4. _post-Chosen_**

"I'll miss you," Willow whimpered.

Xander laughed. "I'm just going to the store, Wills."

"No," she sniffled exaggeratedly. "You've gotten sick of me and my pity party and now you'll abandon me." 

"Willow..."

"Forgive me if I'm desolated at the loss of a relationship!"

"I know." Xander sighed, "But _please_ let me go for some snacks for my poor stomach," he begged, actually kneeling at her side.

Willow relented with a pout. "I guess this is goodbye, then," she sulked

Xander saw the little girl who'd won him over back in kindergarten. "I'll stay, Willow." He smiled. "Just for you."


	11. telling secrets

**That Incident**

He looked at the grieving girl in the middle of the classroom. Her tears had finally dried but she still looked so lost; her big eyes pleading to be comforted.

He looked at the boy at her side and his eyes narrowed. How _dare_ he stand there? He didn't deserve her friendship, much less the trust she obviously gave him. But there he was, his guilty hand on the girl's. The nerve!

Jesse walked to them and snatched Alex' hand away. When Willow made to protest, he pointed at her 'boyfriend' and told the harsh truth: "_He_ stole your Barbie!"

**Surprise, Surprise. (not really)**

Jesse saw Willow alone in the cafeteria. He went to her but she was engrossed in something on her lap. He looked curiously over her shoulder. "Oh..."

Willow started, then looked at him with big eyes. "You won't tell, will you?"

The picture in her hands was recent. Willow had red-marked a big heart around herself and Xander. This had been coming; it didn't even surprise him. "You like him?"

Willow nodded. "Jesse?" she asked pleadingly.

Jesse smiled. "Don't fret, Willow, I won't tell a soul." Xander would be a lucky guy when she got enough courage to tell him.

**Payback**

"Willow!"

"It's only fair, Xander!"

"Don't you dare," Xander warned, "or I'll never talk to you again. Ever."

Willow paused at the threat but then stuck out her chin stubbornly. "So it's okay that you told Jesse about my crush on Mr. Bock but I can't tell him th—"

"Don't!"

Jesse privately thought that if Xander said please, Willow wouldn't do it. But that was as unlikely as his friend using a kiss to stop her.

"That you like Miss Roberts!"

Jesse laughed hard. "The librarian?"

Xander glared at Willow, ignoring the heated blush quickly invading his cheeks. "Shut up!"


	12. celebration

**Options**

Today is Willow's fourteenth birthday, and his meagre allowance only gives Xander two options: To buy a flower or Tic Tacs.

If it's a flower, it wouldn't be a rose. Only girlfriends get roses. Willow is a girl and his friend, but to catalogue her as a girlfriend would diminish everything else she means to him. Lilies, maybe, or those big marguerites she loves.

If it were Tic Tacs... Willow doesn't like them, never did. Shouldn't he have remembered? He'd have to apologise, invite her over for movies and leftover pizza to compensate... Hmmm.

Xander takes the small box.


	13. hair

**Plan of Vengeance**

_It_ was her birthday present. Willow's eyes had widened when she opened the box, laughed and thanked her parents profusely. That was the happiest Xander remembers her.

But enough is enough.

Lately he can't understand her. It's natural, Jesse says, girls are weird. But this particular girl happens to be Willow. Xander has _always_ understood her. But she's become so absent, obsessed even. Now Willow is constantly worrying over _its_ hair, doing and undoing knots and braids. She won't even acknowledge Xander anymore. Meanwhile the culprit sits innocently in her lap, mocking him.

Xander glowers. Barbie is going down.

Soon.

**Witness**

Jesse took a look at Willow's expression and understood that her offer was serious. He carefully stepped backwards, watching her movements. Willow may look frail, but that girl knew all his ticklish spots and wouldn't have mercy. "I'll come right back!" he shouted as he fled out the door.

Safe at home, Jesse laughed at the memory of Xander's sulky face in Willow's bedroom; then he fought a shudder when he remembered the reason for Xander's mood. Instinct made him cover his head with his arms, even if Scissors-Happy Rosenberg wasn't around. He wouldn't become Willow second victim, no sir.

**Vengeance**

It wasn't that bad. Right? Jesse's terrified gasp was only a tasteless exaggeration. Right?

Xander sighed; he'd better confront the truth now. He bravely grasped the hand mirror that Willow offered and raised it slowly to his face. Oh... God... He winced. This was bad. Worse than bad. This was wasting a month of allowance in a real hairdresser bad. Or, heavens forbid, being mocked at at school forever bad... This was worse than that impromptu Barbie's haircut he'd done long ago.

Willow grinned at him. "So... You like it?"

Her fleeting smirk convinced Xander that she'd finally taken revenge.


End file.
